So it's the first day on site, new job building a new office for the department of redundant overwork. Look it's a job right.

Anyway, as it's government work I have to use officially approved tools. None of this bring my own, nope everything will be supplied. Fine, whatever, money is money.

Job one, nailing up a bunch of plasterboard. So I'm hoping I'll get a nail gun but I am expecting a bit of manual labour. What I am not expecting is...

"What the hell is this?"

"Spanner. Don't you know what a spanner is?"

"Of course I know what a bloody spanner is! But I'm doing nails."

"So? It's adjustable."

"And? How is that going to help me do nails?"

"Look you can use it. See!"

At this point the foreman takes his spanner and proceeds to batter a nail into the wall with it, slowly while hitting the wall a couple of times. I stand there dumbfounded.

"Haven't you got a hammer? "

"Oh yes."


"But it doesn't work."

"How can a hammer NOT WORK?" my voice is starting to get a bit loud now.

"Well before we started work I tested all the tools. And try as I might I couldn't tighten any nuts with the hammer. So I decided the spanner was more useful. I didn't want any confusion so we're standardising on spanners."


Well it's a living I suppose. Pass me the spanner, I need to paint a fence.