Sometimes you just have to let rip


So last night my darling step daughter was singing Let it Go as the younglings are wont to do. And I had an epihpany, I'll go over the lyrics here and explain.

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight

Not a footprint to be seen.

Ok.. So she's on a mountain alone.

A kingdom of isolation,

and it looks like I'm the Queen

All alone, everyone has deserted her I wonder why?

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

The wind? Swirling storm inside... What did she eat? Is this why she's alone. The mountain is a metaphor for everyone fleeing the noxious fumes she's emitting?

Couldn't keep it in;

Heaven knows I've tried

There you go. She tried to keep it in but couldn't.

Don't let them in,

don't let them see

Or smell.

Be the good girl you always have to be

Because we all know good girls don't fart. Damm the patriarchy.

Conceal, don't feel,

don't let them know

The sheer intestinal pressure building up.

Well now they know

Now we know.

Let it go, let it go

Can't hold it back anymore

So at this point it's basially obivous. The poor girl has been holding back her wind for so long and now she just no longer cares.

Let it go, let it go

You go girl.

Turn away and slam the door

Oh... see this is the problem. Her friends all desert her rather than accepting a normal fact of human biology.

I don't care

what they're going to say

Let the storm rage on.

The cold never bothered me anyway

I'm guessing here cold is a metaphor for smell. Or possibly the cold of being alone in a cloud of toxic fumes.

It's funny how some distance

Makes everything seem small

Of course everyone seems small, they are standing a long long way away.

And the fears that once controlled me

Can't get to me at all

See it's freeing to break free of the constricting roles society forces on you. Once you accept that and fart whenever you feel the need all is good.

It's time to see what I can do

Ok now this starts to take a dark turn.

To test the limits and break through

See... that just sounds dangerous and possibly messy.

No right, no wrong, no rules for me,

I'm free!

To poop your pants. Don't force it.

Let it go, let it go

I am one with the wind and sky

She's jet propelled?

Let it go, let it go

You'll never see me cry

The clouds of gas are too thick to see anything?

Here I stand

And here I'll stay

Let the storm rage on

She's standing, everyone else has fled the building

My power flurries through the air into the ground

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I'm never going back, the past is in the past

So at this point she's seriously lost it. I think maybe the fumes are making her a bit trippy. Fractals?

Let it go, let it go

And I'll rise like the break of dawn

Again with the flying metaphor. That's some pressure she's managed to build up. Important note here kids, if you find yourself lifting off the ground when you let rip you might want to consult a doctor.

Let it go, let it go

That perfect girl is gone

Yeah. Screw you and your normative gender roles.

Here I stand

In the light of day

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway!

Because remember folks... everyone farts once in a while. A true friend would let a small one out to show solidarity.